I went to school for a few semesters, I've been working at a couple different jobs and had a little time to party here and there. Mostly though after high school I've thought "why? How do? What's the point?" I've had a circle that leads back to wanting pure destruction, of myself and my surroundings. These thoughts start violent or rage filled but usually and quickly turn to suicidal thoughts. I have always enjoyed music and it is one of the few things that saves me each time, I have been attempting to finish fictional stories of which my thoughts normally bog down. Having people around has helped but even some of my friends have felt weird being around recently. I've been lost attempting to find something to call my own and the only thought that keeps me going is "eventually I'll find what I'm looking for?"
But what am I looking for? As much sadness/hate I have for this world I have seen so much to show me it's not as terrible all throughout as I've heard. I've always thought traveling the world would be amazing but with how things are going my journey will be done solo. I have thoughts on where to go and how much time I should spend there; but going to a place where I have no idea how to speak their language would be insane, not to mention going through multiple countries all together.
For those who read this and are wondering why am I reading this? I have decided to start putting some of my writing on the Internet so I thought I'd use this as a medium but I wanted an introduction first. If and when I get the money to travel as I wish this will be a likely place for me to "tell my story" if you will. Just seeing who will notice when I'm on a see able surface.
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